Diane Kamar

Flu and Fever

2011-02-09T11:04:00.002+08:00

Sorry for being MIA again for abit. Been handling few stuff and been sick as a dog. I'll make sure to post something today. My temperature's still high and flu sucks big time :(

S T O P

2011-02-03T01:29:00.002+08:00

How do you stop thinking? How do you stop the pain? How do you stop missing? How do you stop loving?

Just love is never enough. A relationship or even marriage would need more than that. TRUST is the key. Compromise. Chemistry. Understanding. Passion. Commitment.

I love with all of my heart. But when some things happen, you need to put yourself first.

But STOPPING all this thoughts, feelings, is not an easy job. This is where I wish there was a on and off switch button. BADLY...

Michael Bolton Says It All...

2011-02-02T13:16:00.002+08:00

I love his sexy voice and this is one of my all time favourite song. Just love it...

Decisions, Decisions...

2011-02-02T12:09:00.004+08:00

Decision can be regarded as the mental processes resulting in the selection of a course of action among several alternatives. Every decision making process produces a final choice. The output can be an action or an opinion of choice - Wikipedia.

This is something that I've been struggling with for these past few days. Awhile ago, you just know what to decide what you want and how you want it or with who or whatever. As time passes by, you tend to have more complicated decision making due to you considering other factors and as part of you 'growing up'. What if this is decided like that? What if this is decided like this? And you tend to weigh the possible outcomes if this and that happens.

What I had to decide is not something EASY for me but I have a feeling some may think otherwise and what I do is intentionally. Since it involves how your heart feels and its hard to base it on logic eventhough it could be but when you're talking about your feelings, the heart wants what it wants.

Life is challenging as it is and you will keep guessing what's next for you in your life. Some people may not really care however in my case, I'll have all sorts of questions in my head literally all the time even when I'm at the peak of implementing my work and in my sleep! This then I'd say requires patience and relaxation (which I don't know how to). But you just can't help it can you? Sigh.

Will I ever continue my Degree? If so, when and where? Will I ever believe in marriage? Will I ever have a loyal, loving, understanding husband? Will I ever have a baby? How will my career path go? Should I find a second job? What should I do tonight? What is mom and dad thinking of me nowdays? When can I be an aunty? What human-being will I become in this world and as a Muslim?

These are some of it...The list of course could go on and on and on.

Whatever happened to me recently is something I really regret and I really, really, really wished it didn't happen or rather happened otherwise. But I had to make a decision that puts myself first (which is something I rarely do) but I'd have to hurt with what I have decided. All I can do is pray hard and hope that I'll be able to move on from this painful experience that I've encountered. I take every pain and experience as God's test for him having something better saved for me later on.

When I Look At You - Everybody needs inspiration, everbody needs a song, a beautiful melody, when the nights are long, cause there's no guarantee, that this life is easy...

Hello 2011

2011-01-31T22:16:00.002+08:00

Last day of January, 2011 and here I am now back to my old, dusty blog. I just realised I only blogged ONCE in 2010! Loser, whatever...I was really into Tweeting and it helped me to express myself in an easier way from my Blackberry.

There were probably many other reasons why I didn't blog last year and I'd say one of it would be - boy, I had one hell of a year! I'm sure everyone goes through it too but I just had it in God's way of testing MY patience.

As certain things happened, I'll give you this - January 30 is one hell of a f*cked up day for me two years in a row! Ironic eyh?

I hope and I feel this would be a better year though. First of all, the year of 2011 marks the year that my beloved mother would end her services as a working person in this country and will be known as a retiree from November onwards. Hence, she having the biggest heart that she has - will be bringing all of her family including my beloved 'Mak Kajang' aka my mom's second sister to the Holy Land or Umrah this February.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah and Alhamdulillah that my family and I are given this opportunity to get even more closer to Allah. After all the obstacles we or rather myself have faced all this while, it'll be such a great experience for us to have such 'retreat'.

Anyway, that's a piece of news I'd like to share for now. In all honesty, I started this blog for a reason and I think I shall be starting it back for the same. Just for me to know and for you to find out... :)

WOAHHH!

2010-05-10T14:57:00.002+08:00

I definitely need to update LOADS of stories! But the highlight of it all...I AM SINGLE!!!

Finally, after 8 years plus (8 years 3 months to be exact - I think).

Oh well, I can't wait for my short holiday this Friday. WOOHOO! :D

Random Saturday Nights

2009-09-18T14:11:00.004+08:00

Lovebirds~

We went to kacau Sha =)

Orang-orang gila

Chillin~

Bella's 24th

2009-09-18T13:34:00.002+08:00

Chayang you!

=)

She's an awesome friend

Birthday girl suap hubby pulak =p

My peeps!

Hope you enjoyed your 'surprise' Belle
I did the best I could hehe
Wouve you!

<3 My 23rd Surprise Birthday <3

2009-09-18T12:24:00.003+08:00

Thanks so much for everything I <3>

We were rocking the podium oops!

My Taman Tunians came to surprise me too =)

My GORGEOUS cake!!!

My sweethearts!

Thanks so much Belle for organising such an amazing party!
It was my officially best birthday ever!
I love you guys!

My '09 Birthday Lunch!

2009-09-18T11:59:00.004+08:00

Zeenat and sister gave me necklaces!

Faridah, Mr Z, Zeenat and Christine

Happy 23rd to me!

The choc cake I adore most! *drools*

Because I'm a western type of person this is what we had =)

Thanks for letting me order my fav choc cake!
Loved the food and the small gathering!
Wish the other people was there as usual =(

Jujups is 23 Just 2 Days Before Me!

2009-06-25T12:16:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday dodol! Just FYI, I enjoy your sengalness but sometimes too sengal. LOL. Anyway, hope you had a good one and I love you!

Peah Selamat Jadi Puan!

2009-06-25T11:41:00.005+08:00

Yay!!! Congratulations again! Those who were at the wedding enjoyed themselves obviously! Camwhoring, no words could explain! I love you all TTDIians! ;)

Muchas Gracis Senorita Belle!

2009-06-19T17:05:00.002+08:00

Thank you sweet darl for my new layout!!! Wanna know why my layout is always cute and just the way I like it? Cause it's always being done by one of my best friends, Nabila Hannah! Don't think I'm brown nosing you, but yeah accept my lame gratitude here! Thank you very much again!

Xoxo

Me heart you!

SOS Cravings!!!

2009-06-17T12:39:00.003+08:00

Credit: Hanis Zalikha

I'm so craving for these cakes!!! Especially the chocolate cake!!! OMG!!! HELP!!!

Club Hopping

2009-06-15T16:50:00.003+08:00

I love you hotties!
Them on the podium sangat active!

Outside of Avenue K waiting for Erik :)

Quattro's Winter Bar!

Demi kawan baik yang ku cintai, we went to three different clubs! Luckily it's just in one road. Anyway, even though Quattro didn't turn out the way we hoped it'd be, I still had fun with ma sugars! Thanks Tuty and Amira I love you guys! Xoxo

Safiah's Getting Married! :(

2009-06-15T14:57:00.003+08:00

Everyone cam-whoring
Gonna miss you CIK Safiah!

Peah's the center of attention :)

Sedih moment :(

Nik Safiah Hanim :)

Ok, not that I'm not happy for her, I am! Just a sad kind of happy cause this is a girl whom I've known since primary school. Even though we weren't as close but still, I feel sad cause we didn't get to hangout as much therefore making me even sadder! But whatever it is, I wish you all the best, I am happy for you that you're beginning your next step in life as a daughter, and also as a wife! Don't forget me if you need a babysitter! ;)

Tuty Elyanie

2009-05-23T12:25:00.003+08:00

Us lepaking at Rasta
My farewell dinner at Bianco before departing to the US

Camwhoring session in the loo during date night!

Sugarfloss' boyfie and us at Belle's during Irfan's 1 year old party

My sweetheart and I having good times as always =)

My true best friend since high school
Thank you for all the support you've given to me throughout our friendship
We have indeed survived alot and have been through thick and thin together
I'm proud of you for 'developing' yourself compared as to how you were last time ;)
I heart you girlfriend!

Nabila Hannah

2009-05-23T11:46:00.003+08:00

Belle and her precious son, Daniyal Irfan
Us hanging out at Starbucks OU

Yap, Belle and I at Sanctuary partying!

Me wouve you :)

Shalina, Belle and I in Zam's car from OU

One of my best friends whom I truly adore and love!
Thank you for always being there for me whenever I needed company
I think you're a kind-hearted person with alot of patience
You're funny and your jokes are not being made intentionally but still you are one of the funniest!
I heart you, hubby Zam and precious son Irfan so much!

Me? Rejected?

2009-05-14T15:34:00.003+08:00

DAMN IT!!! UiTM rejected my application!!! ARGH. I am now trying to call the person incharge and no one's picking up! WHY??? I can't wait just to ask "why? why? why?" Give me a GOOD reason why I shouldn't be one of your students???! I've worked hard and has been in the PR industry for almost three freakin' years now! You better give me a solid reason why I am not qualified only then I'll accept. I have a future plan to stick to man! You don't give me lame excuses of why I'm not qualified and hell you better pick up the phone!!!

I could've just gone to other universities but UiTM's fee is reasonable for a part-time gig and definitely affordable for a broke person like me! My family are tight enough with their own responsibilities and I don't wanna be in the middle of the way making it worst. Now, I'm already scouting for Open U. It should be the next choice (even though it's freakin RM21k! - still cheaper than other places) and I need to do it hurry since they start classes next week! ARGH. I could just work and not care about it, BUT it gives a great effect to your standings and may I also say, INCOME! Which is a huge deal for me now since the downturn makes such a big effect in terms of financial.

I wanna work and be a successful career woman and also an educated one. Don't get me wrong I am educated in the sense of a good human-being and all but in terms of the certificate that has your name on it, I need to complete Degree at least. Masters? Me? Don't think so. Me practical less theoretical! Diploma nowdays doesn't give you that enough standing or position for you to be in the corporate world. After finishing Degree only then I can think of working and collecting money properly and then probably settle down and marry my future husband (whoever that is for now I am unsure).

ARGH. Stop complaining and get back to work calling those peeps! Wish me luck! :(

He's Just Not That Into You

2009-05-02T12:10:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda back for now! Well sorta...Anywho, last Thursday I watched the movie with Belle and Shalina at GSC OU. I had fun! Simple girls night out watching movie and if I may say, one of the best chick flick ever in my opinion! Even without the movie, you know what you should do and what you should NOT do. However, watching it gives you a more realistic situational analysis that you could just observe rather than analyze and force your brain about. I know my situation now and I'm gonna make a change ;) I love the movie!!!

P.S: Ben Affleck's character is such a sweetie - making Shalina and I, shed tears in the panggung wayang full of people I don't know, thank you =D

Hiatus!

2009-04-15T11:31:00.004+08:00

What the old office looks like before we left :(

My old working place :(

I know I haven't been posting quite recently. Busy moving office!!! Waaaaa so tired...Hopefully I'll be back soon after everything is settled. So far so good but still too early to tell. Wish me luck though!

My Dove Promises Message

2009-04-06T11:10:00.005+08:00

For some reason this past few weeks, after dinner I'll go straight to the fridge and get some Dove chocolates that Nor bought in US. I say for some reason it's because I don't usually eat alot of chocolates. But yeah, I ate alot this past few weeks, and everytime I eat one I'll check my promises message. Again, somehow the messages are kinda meant for me!

1. Be a role model to someone (kinda true - to Irwan, colleagues maybe?)

2. The most enjoyable experiences are often free (erm, maybe)

3. Believe the best in yourself (SO TRUE! I needed faith so I know that I could do it)

4. Make the most of today (TRUE also, my colleagues left me during that time)

5. Forget the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey instead (SO TRUE! Need to move forward to what's happening to me)

6. Kick a bad habit for today (Kinda true - need to quit smoking hehe)

7. Give of yourself to someone who needs you (maybe I need to consider who really needs me rather than just not)

8. Say hi to someone new (really interesting, am I gonna??? hehe)

Interesting eyh? Well these messages below are the ones that Irwan got. Even MORE interesting...

1. Think of someone who makes you smile (he read this and smiled right away with the thinking of someone kind of face, hmm I wonder who is it...)

2. Be a good listener to your friends (SO TRUE! I was in need of comfort and support but he wasn't being a good listener so the message kinda helped me to remind him, that kind of thing you know)

3. Learn to say "hello" in another language (I take this as a message for him to be more friendly maybe? LOL)

They're Gone...

2009-04-01T13:35:00.003+08:00

Azizul, Azman and I will only be left in Ampang later

I'm gonna miss being your PA

My other two angels in the office

Last cake together as Asia PRians

No more 'burp wars' with Ira and 'really/perhaps' by Sheryl :(

What's Going On My Mind This Instant

2009-03-30T15:35:00.003+08:00

1. I cut my hair - I think I look funny but my friends said I look pretty (^_^)
2. Affendi has left Asia PR :(
3. Tomorrow will be most of their last day and we'll have our last makan-makan with them :(
4. I'm really sad and I don't know where to start cleaning up my desk and packing up stuff that we need for the new office
5. This Saturday would be the first time we'll have to work (luckily it's alternate)
6. I miss Baby Irfan even though I just met him yesterday (CUTEST BABY EVER)
7. I'm really gonna miss Ira and Sheryl and Cons. Senang cerita semua orang that are leaving lah
8. I miss ^%&*@
9. This coffee makes me pening lah pulak
10. No mood - wanna go home and sleep

My Wishlist

2009-03-30T13:15:00.003+08:00

I wish for...

1. Blackberry Bold
2. iPhone 3G
3. New hair colour + blonde highlights
4. Gucci handbag
5. LV handbag
6. LV travelling luggages (the complete set)
7. Toyota Caldina 2.0L Turbo GT4
8. Toyota Vios 1.5S
9. Honda City 1.5 i-VTEC
10. Mini Cooper S
11. A walk-in wardrobe
12. Charles & Keith sandal and glads heels!!!
13. $$$$$ ;)
14. Laptop (any good ones)
15. Any best Olympus waterproof camera

More to come...

I've decided!

2009-03-27T17:11:00.006+08:00

Well, I've made my decision to stay now. It is for the better I think. After the talk with Azizul I kinda understood the situation better and even got more opinions to strengthen my choice. Constance agreed too. However, things won't be the same anymore and plus it'll be at somewhere new where I have to adapt to the new culture, working style etc. The worst part is, I'll be there alone. All my other fellow junior colleagues will be leaving. It's very saddening actually. I do love them as my colleagues. They're easy to talk to, easy to quarrel with (if we have a decision to debate about - kinda fun), listening to their stupid jokes, making fun of each other everything lah. We always have lots of makan-makan. for every birthday, anniversaries, interns leaving etc. SIGH. From April 1 onwards, things would totally be different. Office stuff have already being packed bit by bit. Although, I don't know where to start for my own desk. HMM. It's gonna be tough but with prayers InsyaAllah, I'll make it. Hopefully I can get all the prayers from my friends and family too! :(

I Love This Dress!!!

2009-03-26T13:54:00.003+08:00

I love this dress so much!!! Wish I could have some designers do it for me since it's quite hard to go find the exact same dress! Or maybe I could call up Nicole and ask her whether she could donate the dress to me. Belle, this is your idol wearing the dress i LOVE so much!!! LOL

Communication

2009-03-25T15:41:00.005+08:00

Communication is commonly defined as "the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs...

a) an act or instance of transmitting and

b) a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior

c) exchange of information

Communication can also be perceived as a two-way process in which there is an exchange and progression of thoughts, feelings or ideas towards a mutually accepted goal or direction.

I don't have that now in my relationship. I am in need of support, advice and comfort but no, he's not giving that to me. Thanks alot getting me through this rough patch of my life.

Laughter and Tears

2009-03-25T10:33:00.003+08:00

My Tuesday started off pretty normal with me reaching the office late, drank my milk, read the papers etc. It was a very hard morning for me to get up cause it was raining heavily and I was under my covers and fluffy pillow and chilly room especially when it was raining. A feeling so nice that you wished you'd never have to get up and go do your commitments on a daily basis.

Half of the morning just as it was going to be our normal lunch time, Evon dropped by to get her report etc. We were so happy so we could get out of the office and have lunch elsewhere. We ended up going to Santai in TTDI. Thank you Evon! (^_^)

On the way back from Santai we were talking about alot of stuff from relationships, our interns, pap smears and more. Suddenly, there was this funniest question I've heard for the day which was something like "How many inches did you lose your virginity to?" LOL

It was a different question actually but it sounded like that. We were laughing and laughing our asses non-stop till we got to the office. Then, it was back to reality, we were aware that we had a meeting to listen what the outcome of our last attempt was in saving our career. Well, the outcome wasn't what we expected. But I was prepared that I had to look for other opportunities. It's sad to know that my current-one-of-the-boss IS leaving too. I had made my decision also and it was time to really look for a new job as much as possible. After the meeting, I received a devastating email from Nor (my 2nd sister) saying that dad had called her and said that the doctor suspects another coming heart failure that resulted his foot to be swollen. We had a bad start for 2009 as dad had a heart attack when we were in the bus travelling from Reno back to San Francisco exactly on January 1, 2009.

It was severe that we had to extend our stay there in the US while he was being treated in Oakland, California and went through two Angioplasty. We almost lost him. After reading the email I was too stressed and my tears just started to flow. Somehow, I don't feel right if dad gets a 3rd heart attack. He already had a heart attack in 2006 and then during our trip to US in 2008. He has an appointment at IJN today. Hopefully everything goes well. I can't deal with this problem and my career problem too. It's just too heavy. SIGH.

After work I got home with Ira and went for threading together. Met baby for a while outside of Jangells he was hanging out with Faiz and cycling around TTDI. He loves that now. Oh well, as long as he's happy. Got back and ate Mak's cooking as usual. Then I just hung out at home watched TV cause Tuesday nights means 90210, Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives :) But I watched Perfect Stranger before 90210. Amira then called me to hangout but I was hooked up with the TV. Sorry sayang! I'll meet you tonight at gym if you're there :)

~Monday Blues~

2009-03-24T16:23:00.001+08:00

*YAWN*

Me very the sleepy one to get up. SIGH. I got up anyways and reached office late as usual. (^_^) Being at work now means mukabuku-ing, looking for new jobs, spending my time blabbing at my blog etc. It was funny to see Ira being pissed off with one of the interns. She deserves it big time. You can't afford to be blur at this point of stage where you've been here for quite some time and had done nothing much and not having the initiative to come up and ask for further info. SIGH. Luckily she's a nice girl and knows to apologize. Sheryl and I had lunch at Pisang Jerit and I had my usual Oriental Chicken. YUMMY.

Belle was being active online today and she was asking whether I'm ok to go see Confessions of A Shopaholic movie for free at TGV since she has that coupon to redeem 4 free tickets! I was so up for it so she had me text Mei and Lyn whether they're a shoo in or not. Mei was in but Lyn apparently wasnt available :( So Rino joined instead.

Everything else is still the same, I got back, ate what Mak cooked, got ready, watched TV and waited for Belle to pick me up. She said she'll come by 7.30 and wants to go get the tickets and eat KFC. She's so funny, wanting KFC so bad that she wants to buy them and stuff it in her handbag to bring in the cinema. Where can one?! LOL. As I said earlier, funny.

Unfortunately, the tickets are finished when we were about to collect them!!! SOB SOB. But we still went for KFC and tried on Crocs and Belle got her bubble tea. We walked around and I had to try so hard not to go in Charles & Keith, Forever 21, Dorothy Perkins and more due to my restricted finance!!! URGH. Sabar. Anyway, Mei wanted me to come home with her, so I did. And we were infront of my house for god knows how long! Poor thing she was telling me stories of her work now. I wish I could help her but it's up to her to do it and just hang in there till the time comes. Whatever you decide, know that you'll have my full support dear! Xoxo

My Laid Back Sunday

2009-03-23T17:32:00.006+08:00

*AHHH*

I was really sleepy and lazy to get up but Zai woke me up to get ready as the insurance lady is coming. Yeah turning 23 this year only wanting to get insurance that I can't even afford to be honest. SIGH. Wish this downturn would end soon! Even though it's just starting, I'm suffering big time. Mei, the insurance lady is a very nice person whom has been in the business for quite some time. She's a friend of Kak Wati. After a long discussion, I decided that I shall hire her after I get a new job and be financially stable first.

Mom wasn't in a very good mood. We were kinda pissed at her. SIGH. When are things gonna change???! I was already hungry waiting for Mei to leave only then we'll eat lunch what mom cooked. We did ask whether she wants to eat but she doesn't want any. Fair enough. We had to rush eating our lunch to pick our dear aunty whom we call Mak Kajang. There is another aunty of ours whom we call Mak Taiping. (^_^) We had to pick her up at Pudu bus station. She went back to Taiping with her son and had to leave early cause he was staying there much longer.

When we got back we were stuck on TV and watching Three Can Play That Game again. (^_^)But as soon as it was over, I took a shower and got ready to follow Zai to lepak at Mosin with Abang Azahan. After hanging out for some time, I called up Belle and wanted to take her out for dinner. I know she hasn't eaten yet. So malas and she doesn't mind not eating! Haiya. So we went Uptown Hawkers and chatted non-stop while I watch her eat. After we were done, I was suppose to send her to OU but instead I felt like going around in the car with nice soothing music around KL. So we went and on the way there was two stupid cars who were racing and almost hit my car! Tires were screeching and I was so pissed off till I was shaking! Stupid drivers.

Luckily the drive was a pleasant one and we chatted all the way. Sharing, laughing, tempering about all sorts of kinda stuff. Driving around with soothing music is like one of my stress relief ways hehe. Anyway I had fun driving with you Belle and thank you for being there for me. Me heart you always! Xoxo

Busy Busy Saturday

2009-03-23T15:26:00.006+08:00

*Morning*

- Bought newspaper and report to the boss for client/industry news *yawn*

- Had breakfast at Santai with mum

- Got a one hour full body massage and pedicure at Hair Front (LOVE it but tak puas)

- Had a long bath and got ready

*Afternoon*

- Had lunch at The Ship with mum, Zai and Nor *yummy*

- Brought mum to SSF *boringgg* (I waited in the car for an hour plus)

- Picked up Zaida's cuppies from Kak Wati *yummy*

- Got home and got ready for more stuff (Urgh, didn't know what to wear!!!)

*Evening*

- Picked up Zai and Nor's free Sunburst tickets at Hartamas

- Explored Sunburst (didn't enjoy cause I had to leave early and Erykah Badu cancelled!!!)

- Picked up Zaida and headed to Rum Jungle (Happy birthday Kak Zaida! We love you!)

- Walked to 7atenine with baby to meet Nicole and Joel Malaysia *FUN*

- Drove baby home cause someone wasn't up for it *ehem*

Hectic eyh?

Sucky Weekend Start!

2009-03-23T14:32:00.004+08:00

*SIGH*

After work on last Friday, I was getting mentally prepared for my game that night. I knew if i hadn't played or practiced in between the three blocks on every Friday, I would suck! Inserts would be loose, lost balance entirely, off timing, ball felt heavier as ever, the list goes on. Still, I was very eager to feed my stomach first so my eldest sister Zai, asked me to follow her to Santai for dinner first before sending me to Cineleisure. It was a good, simple meal and I enjoyed it. But, I was too full pulak. Well, I got there at Pin Junction just in time to get ready. Then Yana was there! And she's married! She showed me the pictures of her akad nikah also cause she wants to show me her husband's picture lah kan ;) (not bad Yana, not bad...)

Well, it was game time. SCARY. Lastly, I played 147, 231, 172 with an average of 183! Not bad, but I could've done it better! Luckily Aunt Helen is telling me we're competing with a tough team this week and she needs me to play. I think I'll practice before Friday. I miss the game actually. Use to play it more last time but with the condition now, I don't think I can play it that often :(

My girlfriend and hubby picked me up from Cineleisure and we went Mohsin. Later, baby and yayang arrived. We had fun chatting and laughing about many things. It was a pleasant evening or rather morning cause we were there till 1am or 2am plus I think.

*THE SUCKY PART*

After we got home, I had a fight with my other half about a simple thing. SUNBURST. We kinda fought about other stuff too but eventually patched most things up by 3am but I still couldn't sleep. So I watched "Three Can Play That Game" on HBO. Interesting movie. I saw the first edition called "Two Can Play That Game". Girls out there, if you want some tips, maybe you could watch this movie and try to understand most things that are complicated in relationships ;)

I Need This Tonight

2009-03-20T14:35:00.002+08:00

This was during Zam's birthday in the year of 2006 I think. Correct me if I'm wrong Belle, if you're reading this. It was a fun night with no worries, no disappointments with good friends and good feel of happiness. I'm gonna get this ambiance again tonight at 7atenine hopefully if jadi :)

Dummy Downturn

2009-03-19T18:20:00.000+08:00

*SIGH*

I just really didn't think things would wound up this bad. After the meeting, I feel sad that I had to choose a path where I had to be mean and turn my back against him! But I didn't have a choice if I wanted to survive. This sucks real bad. It was a devastating day today and I didn't like it. Moreover, once he stepped into the office no one greeted him and didn't even gave him an eye contact. I could feel the guilt-but-I-have-to vibe from him crossing over the office to enter his room.

After the 'announcement' things just got from bad to worst till this day. And to add salt to the wound, I got an SMS reply of shock from a friend I adore. Well it wasn't really a shock as this happens to me often but I have to say it hasn't for quite some time. And now it has begun again!

*BETRAYAL*

That was the right word to use of what idiotic act that I've gotten today. Apparently I've been bad-mouthed for making up bad, not nice stories of this friend I adore. Bullshit. This is one friend I couldn't even think of a bad thing to say about! Plus, it's not relevant for me to make up stories on those who didn't even mess with me at all. It's just a fucking waste of time. I mean yeah I've talked about people, who hasn't? But not all the time and unnecessarily just to make it part of my daily life. I can honestly say I might be one of those people who does that kind of shit last time, but as I've grown and learnt from previous mistakes, it just makes you become shallow.

Well, we'll see what the outcome would be and I could think it through again tomorrow. For now, the guy that I've been with for almost 8 years now, is here to pick me up and bring me home so that I could rest my body and mind that have been working since the past 9 hours.

God bless...

Hello...

2009-03-19T17:49:00.001+08:00

Well hi there!

Wow, I so have no work to do and I'm blur with this blogging thingy. Oh well, just thought I'd give it a try and talk here since I have lack of trust to humans for now!

Good luck to me!