Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Flu and Fever

Sorry for being MIA again for abit. Been handling few stuff and been sick as a dog. I'll make sure to post something today. My temperature's still high and flu sucks big time :(

Thursday, February 3, 2011

S T O P

How do you stop thinking? How do you stop the pain? How do you stop missing? How do you stop loving?

Just love is never enough. A relationship or even marriage would need more than that. TRUST is the key. Compromise. Chemistry. Understanding. Passion. Commitment.

I love with all of my heart. But when some things happen, you need to put yourself first.

But STOPPING all this thoughts, feelings, is not an easy job. This is where I wish there was a on and off switch button. BADLY...

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Michael Bolton Says It All...

I love his sexy voice and this is one of my all time favourite song. Just love it...

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Decisions, Decisions...

Decision can be regarded as the mental processes resulting in the selection of a course of action among several alternatives. Every decision making process produces a final choice. The output can be an action or an opinion of choice - Wikipedia.

This is something that I've been struggling with for these past few days. Awhile ago, you just know what to decide what you want and how you want it or with who or whatever. As time passes by, you tend to have more complicated decision making due to you considering other factors and as part of you 'growing up'. What if this is decided like that? What if this is decided like this? And you tend to weigh the possible outcomes if this and that happens.

What I had to decide is not something EASY for me but I have a feeling some may think otherwise and what I do is intentionally. Since it involves how your heart feels and its hard to base it on logic eventhough it could be but when you're talking about your feelings, the heart wants what it wants.

Life is challenging as it is and you will keep guessing what's next for you in your life. Some people may not really care however in my case, I'll have all sorts of questions in my head literally all the time even when I'm at the peak of implementing my work and in my sleep! This then I'd say requires patience and relaxation (which I don't know how to). But you just can't help it can you? Sigh.

Will I ever continue my Degree? If so, when and where? Will I ever believe in marriage? Will I ever have a loyal, loving, understanding husband? Will I ever have a baby? How will my career path go? Should I find a second job? What should I do tonight? What is mom and dad thinking of me nowdays? When can I be an aunty? What human-being will I become in this world and as a Muslim?

These are some of it...The list of course could go on and on and on.

Whatever happened to me recently is something I really regret and I really, really, really wished it didn't happen or rather happened otherwise. But I had to make a decision that puts myself first (which is something I rarely do) but I'd have to hurt with what I have decided. All I can do is pray hard and hope that I'll be able to move on from this painful experience that I've encountered. I take every pain and experience as God's test for him having something better saved for me later on.

When I Look At You - Everybody needs inspiration, everbody needs a song, a beautiful melody, when the nights are long, cause there's no guarantee, that this life is easy...

Monday, January 31, 2011

Hello 2011

Last day of January, 2011 and here I am now back to my old, dusty blog. I just realised I only blogged ONCE in 2010! Loser, whatever...I was really into Tweeting and it helped me to express myself in an easier way from my Blackberry.

There were probably many other reasons why I didn't blog last year and I'd say one of it would be - boy, I had one hell of a year! I'm sure everyone goes through it too but I just had it in God's way of testing MY patience.

As certain things happened, I'll give you this - January 30 is one hell of a f*cked up day for me two years in a row! Ironic eyh?

I hope and I feel this would be a better year though. First of all, the year of 2011 marks the year that my beloved mother would end her services as a working person in this country and will be known as a retiree from November onwards. Hence, she having the biggest heart that she has - will be bringing all of her family including my beloved 'Mak Kajang' aka my mom's second sister to the Holy Land or Umrah this February.

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah and Alhamdulillah that my family and I are given this opportunity to get even more closer to Allah. After all the obstacles we or rather myself have faced all this while, it'll be such a great experience for us to have such 'retreat'.

Anyway, that's a piece of news I'd like to share for now. In all honesty, I started this blog for a reason and I think I shall be starting it back for the same. Just for me to know and for you to find out... :)